I was listening to Pastor John Piper speak on this issue, and it is something that I have often thought about.  Consider this:

There were thousands of people that followed Jesus.  When He performed the miracles of multiplying the bread and fish, there were 5,000 men on one occasion, and 4,000 on another.  And that count only mentions the men.  We should assume that there were probably as many women (if not more), and women and children.  So we could reasonably assume that there were 15,000-25,000 people following Jesus.  And yes, while many of them were not true followers, but were only there to see the miracles, we must assume that many of them WERE true followers.  So I think it’s safe to say, there were thousands of believers following Jesus.

Within those thousands, Jesus had a group of 70 disciples that He must have held closer.  For in Luke 10, we see that He specifically commissions these 70 to preach and perform miracles in the cities that Jesus would come into.  He trusted these 70 with the message of the Kingdom!

From those 70, Jesus chose and inner core of 12.  12 special disciples that went with Him everywhere and were told that they would sit on thrones with Him and judge Israel!  12 that sat with Jesus, broke bread with Jesus, learned from Jesus, had the parables explained to them, and were specially called to be His inner core!

Now of those 12, He also had 3 that He brought even closer.  3 that went with Him into the garden and that He trusted to pray with Him and help bear His burden.  3 that were called up the mountain and shown the glory of Christ!

And then there was 1.  John was referred to as the “disciple whom Jesus loved. (John 21:20)”  He rested his head on Jesus’ bosom and had this special title applied to him.

The point of what Piper was teaching, and what I believe is true as well, is that we have different “levels” of friendship and intimacy.  ALL who call on the Name of Jesus Christ and are truly born-again, are part of the family of Christ.  Part of the same body, and therefore are loved by all the truly born-again.  John says that if we don’t love our brothers, the love of Christ is not in us (1st John 4:20; 1st John 2:8-11) . But there are different “levels” of that love.

We all have that one (which may actually be 1 or 3 or 5, et.al).  The one that sticks closer to us than a brother (many use that to refer to Christ, which is true, but I mean your brother/sister on earth here and now).  The one that walks with us in all things, and even when you disagree, there is no bitterness in your heart.  A friend that you share everything with and speak blunt, sincere, and completely real feelings with.  The one that you completely reveal your heart to, and that you are “in-sync” with on everything.  He/she/they is your John.

But then you also have your “3” (which may actually be 5 or 8 or 9, et.al).  These are ones that you trust with your whole heart.  You show them who you truly are.  You trust them to bear your burdens, to weep with you, to pray with you, to be there for you.  There may be sharp disagreements on occasion (like Peter being rebuked by Jesus…he was one of the 3), but it’s ok.  You walk together, you talk together.  You’re on the same page.  These are your Peter, James, and Johns (the "one" is part of this and all other groups as well).

From there you have your 12.  I see these as brothers and sisters that you love deeply.  You study together, eat together, pray together.  You trust them to carry your burdens, to rebuke you and correct you when needed, and to stand with you.  But perhaps there are some things that prevent that truly deep, deep, and sincere fellowship.  Perhaps there are disagreements on doctrine that cannot be reconciled?  Things that you consider absolutely essential, but can’t come to a common ground with.  For me, let’s say that they hold to the false-version Bibles, or believe in a pre-trib rapture, or a loose version of “free-will.”  These issues will cause a hindrance in that supremely deep relationship, but they do not break fellowship.  We are with each other in the Gospel, in love for each other and the lost, in a necessity of prayer and study, etc.  But those issues that are so foundational for me, prevent a complete intimacy.

Then there are the 70.  Perhaps these are brethren that you don’t get to see too often, due to distance or time.  Or perhaps they are brethren that disagree on more serious issues.  While they ARE brothers, and not false teachers, they take positions that you cannot ignore.  Maybe they attend a church that you consider borderline heretical, or they support teachers that you think are dangerous.  You still hold that these are born-again believers, but they are stuck in some sort of error.  This prevents fellowship, because if you are with them, you're trying desperately to correct them!  But while their errors may be serious and prevent intimacy, they are still BRETHREN and therefore you love them.  Even from a distance.

Then there are the thousands.  Brothers and sisters all over the world that you’ll never meet.

This just shows the different “levels” of friendship within the Body.  Some we love, while never meeting them.  Some we love from a distance and in prayer.  Others we bring in close, but “arms-distance” as the disagreements are always bothersome under the surface.  Then there are those that we fully embrace and bring in close.  We open up to them and share with them, even though tensions or bitter disagreements may occasionally pop up.  And then there are those that are fully embraced in all unity and fellowship.

There are also other relationships to point out here.  There are the lost masses.  Those walking in ignorance and disobedience who receive our pity, compassion, and pleas.  There are the false-teachers and prophets who are viewed as venomous snakes and dangerous wolves.  We rebuke them sharply, warn against them, avoid them, and hope that the Lord will bring them to their senses.  There are the “wolves-in-sheeps-clothing.”  Those who pretend to be inner-core, but are dangerous.  We use careful discernment to test people’s hearts and motives.  We watch closely to see what kind of “fruit” are coming out of these. We stand on guard when they speak and never fully embrace them until we are sure that they are one of us.  Judas was one of these.  He was even part of the 12!!  But Christ always knew who he really was.  So should we.

The hardest of these to deal with are those who sincerely and truly appear to be of us.  The spring up immediately in joy, and have a show of righteousness.  We see the zeal and the joy and the love, and it looks JUST LIKE REAL FRUIT!  And so we welcome them in and fully embrace them.  We give them our hearts.  Sometimes (like Judas), they even work far into our trust and hearts!  Perhaps they even become a 3 or a 1!  But eventually they fall away.  They turn from the faith and go back to their old lives, like a dog going back to its vomit.  It breaks our hearts and causes much weeping.  But it does happen, and it’s at times like that that we must trust Christ to repair.

Fellowship is sweet!  It is so precious and good. Strive to find as many “1’s” as you can.  But be ok if they end up “3’s.”  There is still tremendous fellowship, love, joy and happiness in that.  Even if it’s just a “12.”  It’s ok if you can’t find common ground on everything.  Look for opportunities to work it out in the Lord, and perhaps God would grant repentance to whoever is in error, and they will quickly become a 3 or a 1!  But until then, rejoice in our common salvation!  Embrace them fully in the common grace that we share!

And the “70’s” that you come into on occasion?  Love them like a 1!  And then understand that the Lord has different paths for different Saints.  If they move on, so be it.  Love them from a distance.  And remember the “thousands” around the world.  Keep them in prayer, and rejoice if you get a chance to meet them!  Love them.  As for the lost?  Seek them with the Word of God, and pray that they enter the brotherhood!  Be cautious of the “new” ones, testing them in your mind and heart to see if they are real.  IF they are, bring them in.  If they prove to be false, avoid them.  If they fall away, weep and mend in the Lord and pray that He would bring them in.  And the wolves, avoid with all caution, rebuking and warning the weak and the new.